Skinny
by JazzyCat
Summary: It began on the day I looked in the mirror and saw my body swell before my eyes. But it was not just an eating disorder; from there it became a love story. Unconventional, yes, but the only one I would ever know. KK. AU. Rated for dark, serious themes.
1. Prologue: The Beginning

**Skinny**

_Prologue.

* * *

_

"Have I always been this fat?" I say aloud, though quietly, so only I hear my words.

Staring at my body in the mirror, I am displeased with what I see. My brow furrows and my nose scrunches up. I can't understand it. I eat well, I exercise often—maybe even too much—and my family has no history of diabetes or hypothyroidism. I shouldn't _be_ this way.

I run my hands over my stomach, and my palm feels a flat expanse of soft skin, hiding muscle, but in the mirror I see nothing but pudge. Love handles are peeking over the sides of my shorts, and I cover them with both hands, giving a disgusted squeeze. I feel nothing, but I see them so clearly.

My face is round, my arms are flabby, my legs are thick.

I look away from my reflection and instead to my physical body. At first I see nothing wrong; I see the body that I've had all my life. And then before my eyes things change.

And I realize.

I'm fat.

* * *

**_-And so it begins-  
_**


	2. Chapter 1: Intervention

**Skinny**

_Chapter 1.

* * *

_

"Kaoru, please. I'm begging you." Her mother pushed forward a plate covered in her daughter's favorites. "Please, just eat _something_!" There was a tone of desperation in her voice, and a pleading look in her eyes; she was down to the end of her wits.

Glazed blue eyes peered down at the good china—she noticed it was the _good_ china, too—covered in her favorite things: various vegetables, a sampling of meats, and a hearty helping of rice. Beyond that were several other dishes and desserts prepared in the hopes that Kaoru might eat one.

However the young woman turned her head, refusing to look at another morsel of food and instead opting to pick at her nails and stare at the carefully carved wood of the expensive, antique dining room furniture. She was growing tired of this. Her mother; her father; her friends; all begging her to eat. They just didn't _understand_. She didn't want to eat. She couldn't.

She hadn't wanted anyone to notice her decreased appetite. She thought she could get away with it if she slowly weaned herself off of food. If the change was gradual, perhaps others would come to accept it as normal, she had thought. But her parents were more observant than she thought and she soon found herself making excuses to get out of eating.

She didn't like having to lie to her parents. She had been "sick" for a week and a half now, and that was only her latest alibi. Before that she had been telling everyone that she had eaten a large breakfast, when in fact she had had nothing but a glass of orange juice. At lunch she would tell her friends that she wasn't hungry, and at dinner she would tell her family she'd eaten too much for lunch.

She wasn't an idiot. She knew that without food she would die. It was that she never ate, she just ate very little, and not very often. Every so often she would have an apple for lunch or some bread at dinner, but never more than that, and never more than one meal a day—if that.

Kaoru's eyes moved to meet her mother's and she was startled to see tears. Her heart clenched. She hadn't meant to hurt anyone.

The older woman placed her hands flat on the table and pushed her chair back. She stood and walked toward the door, turning before exiting the room to look at her daughter: the only child she'd ever had or would have.

"Fine," she said, her voice beginning to shake. "I give up. I just hope you realize how many people you're hurting with this." Kaoru counted the footsteps as her mother left, and didn't move until she couldn't hear them anymore. Her eyes flickered to the plates that remained in their place on the table. She glared at them in disgust.

She couldn't understand what would make people ingest such things. The only thing that eating achieved was weight gain, and that was a fate worse than death in Kaoru's eyes. She was quite aware of how that sounded, but in all honesty, she had decided that death was better than being fat. Kaoru wasn't a vain person, and she didn't follow trends in girly teenage magazines. She had never thought of becoming bulimic to lose weight—had never thought that she needed to before. One morning, she just woke up and didn't want to eat anymore. That morning, her image of herself changed drastically. That morning she looked in the mirror to see a chubby little girl. She'd made a promise to herself, a pact, and she didn't intend to go back on her word, no matter how much it hurt her. She was too damn stubborn to go back on her word.

"I will not break my resolution," she vowed, and she stood, following her mother's example, and left the room, leaving the devil's nourishment where it was, untouched.

* * *

Upstairs in her bedroom, Kaoru closed the door and sighed, pressing her back to the hard wood and sliding to sit on the floor. She rested her head on her knees. She was exhausted.

"_It's probably from all that exercise_," she reasoned. "_I'm getting out of shape again. Maybe I ought to eat less_." Her brow furrowed and she lifted the hem of her shirt to peek at her stomach, wondering if she'd lost any weight. Leaning forward she fell to her hands and knees and crawled like a child across the floor to her mirror. She sat back on her heels and studied herself.

First she pulled her hair back into a high ponytail and turned her head, straining her eyes to see her neck, hoping it was devoid of unattractive rolls. She couldn't tell, and faced forward again to study her face. Kaoru leaned until her nose was nearly touching the cold glass, scouring her reflection for any sign of weight loss, and only pulled away when she was convinced her face looked thinner. Standing, she turned her attention to her body.

Her clothes were removed quickly and carelessly in her eagerness to see results, and the half-smile on her face fell when she got the full view of her body.

While in reality her face looked gaunt and her body thin and malnourished, the only thing she could see in the mirror was chipmunk cheeks and baby fat that never seemed to go away.

Hopping onto her scale, she saw the number had dropped by ten since the last time she weighed herself—last month—but she glared angrily at the display.

"Liar!" She accused with a soft snarl, and kicked at it. "There's no way I've lost ten pounds. I've barely changed at all!"

Her eyes were beginning to burn and she shoved her scale under her dresser with one foot while pulling pajamas on.

Her clothes hung off her body like a sheet from a coat rack. She held the elastic pants around her hips with one hand as she climbed into bed. She clicked off the lights without a word and rolled over to face the window. Moonlight streamed in, highlighting the bags under her eyes and the pout in her thin, chapped lips.

"_At this rate I'll never be skinny._"

* * *

In the morning Kaoru showered and dressed quickly, using a safety pin to secure her uniform skirt on her hips. She noticed her clothes were getting too big for her, but couldn't imagine why, since she hadn't gotten any thinner.

Forgoing makeup the girl smoothed lotion on her face, having also noticed that her skin was drying out. She dabbed a small amount of concealer under her eyes to hide the dark circles and ran a brush through her brittle hair—pulling out several strands—before heading downstairs.

"Kaoru," her mother acknowledged with a nod. Kaoru could hear the hopelessness in her mother's voice as they both sat down at the table, but the woman's eyes lit up when her daughter reached for a piece of wheat toast. She used no butter, and she pulled the crusts off before eating it, but it was food nonetheless.

Her father entered the dining room only moments later, taking in the sight of Kaoru eating without a word. His eyes met his wife's, sharing a moment of excitement.

The man took a seat between the two women, and began loading up a plate of his own, exchanging glances with his wife every once in a while as they silently observed the raven-haired girl and her single piece of toast.

"Kaoru, dear," her mother said quietly. "On the way home from school would you mind stopping at the store for a few things?" Blue eyes flew to glare at her, knowing this was a trap to get her to eat something, to be tempted by food, but she had been raised to have manners.

"Sure, mom," the girl replied. "Is there a list of things you need?" Her mother nodded and rushed to get the grocery list from the pad of paper on the kitchen wall. A few basic household necessities—most of which weren't edible—were written on the paper in small, elegant script.

"Milk, bread, shampoo, soap, black ink pens…" Kaoru read aloud under her breath before folding and pocketing the small scrap of paper, comforted by the lack of foodstuffs on the list. "I'll swing by the store on my way home," she said, offering a rare smile. Checking her watch she swore under breath at the time—earning a quiet reprimand from her father—before she bid them both goodbye and rushed out the door and into the wintery morning air with a schoolbag clutched in one fist, the other holding her coat closed.

Once she was out the door, her parents burst into action. Her mother ran to the kitchen and started dialing the numbers of Kaoru's friends, while her father used his cell phone to contact family who lived close by.

Something needed to be done.

* * *

"_I don't feel well_." Kaoru pressed one arm across her stomach. A sudden ache had started, though not one of hunger, and she wasn't sure what this was, exactly. She prayed her face didn't reflect on her sudden discomfort; she didn't need people asking questions.

Time seemed to slow to a crawl as Kaoru waited for the bell. She wanted to be free of the classroom, wanted to get on the rooftop observatory for some air, wanted to take some ibuprofen and the diet pills she'd stolen from the pharmacy. "_Which reminds me,_" she thought, pulling the shopping list from her pocket and scrawling one last item down in her own small, boxy handwriting, "_I'm running out of pills._" She slid the paper back into her pocket unnoticed, just as the bell rang.

"Dismissed for lunch," the teacher shouted over the sudden chatter, and left for the teacher's lounge for his own midday meal.

Kaoru grabbed her bag and started to get up out of her seat when her knees shook and she collapsed back into her chair. No one had seen her, so she tried again, successfully standing with no problems, though her head was beginning to pound. She pressed her cool fingers to her temple.

"Hey, Kaoru are you alright?" someone asked as she gathered her things. She turned her head to meet a concerned stare, returning it with a falsely quizzical look.

"Yes, I'm fine, why do you ask?"

"Because your hands are trembling," the girl gestured with her own hand to Kaoru's fingers which were indeed shaking. Nervously she laughed it off.

"Oh, I didn't get much sleep last night and I think I'm catching a cold," she lied smoothly, "I'm going to go get some air." She excused herself politely and left the room, hoping the quiver in her legs wasn't noticeable.

In the observatory—the stairs took a little effort—the young girl flopped onto a bench against the wall, propping her feet up and lying back. She unbuckled her bag and rifled through it to find what she desired. Removing two small pill bottles—packed with cotton to prevent rattling—she removed two small capsules from both and washing them down with water from a bottle she'd brought alone.

She relaxed, coat balled up under her head as a pillow, allowing the cool water to soothe her. Her eyes drifted shut for what seemed like a moment and she dozed, waking at the sound of the bell. Lunch break was over.

She packed the cotton back into the pill bottles and threw away her empty bottle of water, thankful that her headache was gone and her vision no longer fuzzy, though the ache in her abdomen was still dull. Making sure her things were all there, she walked hurriedly back to class.

* * *

"See you tomorrow!" Kaoru called over her shoulder to the classmates she'd been studying with. They smiled and waved as she left, her smile pasted in place. As soon as the door was closed, her hand was clutching at her midriff again, her face contorted in pain. She slumped against the wall and looked frantically around, making sure she was alone. No one would believe her if she said "I'm fine" while looking like that.

Her breath caught in her throat and she suddenly felt feverish. Her hands wiped sweat from her forehead before moving to clamp over her mouth. Her throat felt dry and swollen, and much shorter. Kaoru fears she would vomit, and squeezed her eyes shut, willing the nausea to go away.

Her dark hair fell on either side of her face, shielding her from prying eyes, and making her appear as though she were just waiting for someone, when in reality she was taking long, deep breaths through her nose until her stomach pains subsided into slight throbs in time with her heartbeat.

Standing straight, Kaoru ran her free hand through her hair and fanned her flushed, sweaty face. She unbuttoned the top of her coat as she sped toward the door, desperate for the cold kiss of the January air.

She gasped in surprise when it hit her, and unbuttoned her coat all the way down, exposing herself to the air with nothing but a thin white oxford shirt and a school-emblazoned sweater-vest protecting her skin. Shivering with the delight of it, she tossed her hair over her shoulder, gripped her bag tightly, and began the trek home.

Her arm brushed against her side and something crinkled. Something in the pocket of her skirt. Kaoru slapped her forehead and cursed, having nearly forgotten that she needed to stop by the store to pick up the short list and her diet pills. Her fingers—trembling from what she hoped was the cold—fumbled as she attempted to pull it from her pocket and unfold it. The ink was sticking together, gluing it shut, and the creases were threatening to rip if she pulled any harder. Gently she tried to work it open, coaxing the layers of paper apart with her fingernails. She stuck her tongue between her teeth in concentration until she finally peeled two corners away from one another—just enough for her to open it.

"Milk, bread, shampoo, soap, black ink pens…" she watched her breath rise in hot puffs of white air as she read off the list to herself again. Her feet shuffled through the half-inch of snow that was accumulating on the ground and she set her sights for the store just up the road at the next intersection. She reached the crosswalk without incident, but she was starting to feel the bite of the cold, and bounced on her heels to warm up while she waited for the pedestrian light to permit her to cross.

It blinked for a moment before turning white, illuminating the shape of a person stepping off the curb, which Kaoru imitated and dashed to the other path. Weaving her way through a small group of people, she made it to the warm interior of the store. She shivered with the sudden temperature change, grabbed a basket from the stack near the door, and began shopping, list in one hand, bag and basket in the other.

She walked down each aisle, carefully looking for each item—and the correct brand—and placing them gingerly in the cart, especially the eggs and bread, so they wouldn't break or get flattened. Her last stop was by the pharmacy counter in the back, where she perused the shelves, pretending to look at band-aids while actually eyeing the pills stacked conveniently to the right of the small boxes.

Her eyes scanned the various brands and every once in a while she would discreetly rotate one of the bottles to see the print on the back, comparing notes until she found the best—and most reasonably priced—choice. She slipped in into the cart along with a package of kitty band-aids and some chemical hand warmers.

She pulled her wallet out as the cashier rang up her items. Her many layers were making her uncomfortable, but they were the only thing that allowed her to purchase diet pills in the first place; hiding her thin figure and making her look larger than she really was. The man asked no questions as he handed her the bags and her change. She thanked him and headed out the door and home, remembering to slip the pills into her school bag—it wouldn't be good if her parents found them.

* * *

Munching on an apple to quiet the roaring pain of her stomach, Kaoru walked through the gates of her home. In her peripherals she saw a multitude of cars in the driveway and wondered what company her parents had. She hoped she was interrupting something important and carefully opened the door, peeking around.

There was no one in the foyer so she slipped in, making no sound but the muted thud of the door closing. Her boots were off her feet and her coat on the hanger in the closet in seconds and she slid down the hall to the kitchen in stocking feet. Her bag made a temporary home of the kitchen counter as she put away all the groceries and tossed away her apple core. Once that was done, she scooped her things up and headed through the living room to the stairs, only to stop seconds later in surprise.

The room was full of friends and family members seated on the couch and in the armchairs.

"If you were entertaining, you should have left me a note," Kaoru said, barely able to hide her annoyance as she looked sweetly over to her parents in the back of the room. Somehow, judging by the solemn look on every face in the room, she doubted this was a happy reunion.

"Kaoru," her father said quietly, trying not to arouse suspicion in his skeptical daughter, "please go change out of your school uniform and then join us."

Hardly able to refuse, the girl only nodded, eyes roaming the familiar faces as she crossed over to the stairs and climbed.

Aunts and uncles were present; friends were there, cousins, classmates, and teachers. Over a dozen people were crowded into the small room, and for one reason.

Kaoru already had a pretty good idea what that was.

Kaoru changed into a thick sweater and a pair of loose jeans, slipped on her slippers and brushed out her mussed hair. She took her time dressing and hung up her uniform to prevent wrinkles, and killed more time by putting away a pile of clean laundry that had been left on her bed. After she had cooled her head and mentally prepared, Kaoru took one last look in the mirror, scowling at her image, and went back downstairs. She smirked inwardly when she saw the expressions of annoyed impatience on her parents' faces.

"So," she asked, voice dripping with pseudo-innocence. "What brings everyone here?" There was a silence as everyone looked at one another, no one wanting to be the first to speak. Kaoru's mother broke that silence, placing a hand on her daughter's shoulder and leading her to a chair where she could be seen by everyone.

"Take a seat, dear." She did, and her mother followed suit. Her father remained standing, leaning against the wall opposite her. "Kaoru, sweetheart…these people aren't her on a social visit."

"_No, really? I hadn't guessed._" Kaoru thought, wanting so badly to roll her eyes. Instead she just said "I didn't think so," and waited for the rest of the explanation.

"There is something we want to discuss with you seriously, and we've brought your friends and family to help you understand."

Her mother looked around the room for help, waiting for someone to jump in with their two cents, but no one said a word. She cast a pleading look to her husband, who cleared his throat.

"We think…there's something wrong with you."

"Koshijiro!" her mother screeched at the terrible wording. "Kaoru, that's not what we mean at all! All we mean is that we think you might…have the wrong idea about yourself."

"You mean you think I have a bad self-image?" The girl asked, still trying to hold up some of her original cluelessness.

"It's more serious than that," someone on the couch beside her chimed in, but no one offered further explanation. There was an uncomfortable silence and once again her mother had to speak.

"We think you might have an eating disorder, Kaoru." The air filled with tension as the words sank in.

"I don't eat too much, do I?" Kaoru asked, suddenly fearful that she was starting to look fat to everyone else as well. The horror of the idea was making bile rise in her throat and her breathing quickened.

"No, Kaoru, that's not what we're saying. Far from it," Kaoru's cousin, Misao said. Her voice sounded exasperated.

Misao and Kaoru had always been close, and to see her favorite relative wasting away was killing the Shorty. She wanted this to become apparent to her best friend, wanted her to want help, to get better. Misao flicked her braid over her shoulder and out of her face as she addressed her elder cousin.

"We think you might be anorexic, or bulimic. Do you make yourself throw up, Kaoru?" Her tone was serious, demanding an honest answer, her eyes boring into Kaoru's own. The blue-eyed girl knew that Misao would be able to read her like a book, and so she gave the honest answer that was demanded.

"No, I don't."

"Do you eat every day?"

"Yes, I do." This was not a lie. She would always eat something, however small it was.

"Every meal? Do you eat all of your food? Do you exercise in excess or cut yourself? Kaoru, do you think you're fat?" The smaller girl fired off questions like she was reading them off a page, and didn't wait for answers before asking another, her temper rising. Kaoru could tell that the only one she was meant to reply to was the last one. She could feel all eyes in the room on her now and it was making her nervous. Someone would see through her if she lied to get away from this situation. She had to tell the truth.

But she hadn't meant to get hysterical about it.

The teen jumped from her chair to face Misao. "How can I not? Look at me! I'm huge! I'm a whale!" She pulled her hair in frustration. "You're all teasing me, making me feel bad about being so big! I'm trying, okay? I'm trying to fix this, I'm really cutting down!" Her voice was desperate, tears forming in her eyes. She blinked them away, refusing to cry. She was too strong, too stubborn.

"Kaoru! You're not fat! You're so tiny, it's scary! You look like you'll snap in half if someone hugs you, and that's not healthy!" Misao was shouting louder than Kaoru was, and it soon became a match of volume. Since no one else was going to give their opinions, the small girl had to take matters into her own hands. "I just want you to be healthy!"

"Tiny? TINY?! You're shitting me!" Kaoru ignored the reprimand from her father for swearing in front of company. Her small, trembling hands reached for the hem of her sweater and wrenched it up, exposing her midriff from the waistband of her jeans to the underwire of her bra. "Look at this! I'm all over the place; I don't think I could get any bigger if I tried! It's all fat and love handles, and I'm tired of being chubby!"

Misao's face blanched when she saw the state of Kaoru's body. Her hips bones looked angular and painful, sticking out under her skin. Her ribs could be counted, and her waist was sinking in. Her face was wild, her eyes bugging out of her face, looking ghostly. Her arms were thin as toothpicks and her wrists looked like they would snap at the slightest touch. The young girl wanted to throw up. She was furious with everyone in the room for letting it get this bad, including herself.

Kaoru's tears were falling freely down her face now, and she let her sweater fall back into place, hiding her shame. "I'm trying, okay? I just want to be pretty."

"Kaoru, you've always been pretty!" her mother shouted, on the verge of tears herself, but words would do nothing. Misao was on her feet before that sentence had been finished, and crossed the room in seconds to bring her palm across Kaoru's face harshly.

"This is bullshit, Kaoru." Her tone had become low and dangerous, only for the sick girl's ears. "You know as well as I do that this isn't fat." She pinched her waist and felt nothing but skin and a little muscle. There was no layer of fat between the two. "This is dangerous. If you're doing this for attention I suggest you stop it before you kill yourself."

"I won't—" Kaoru was cut off.

"Shut up! You will! If you keep this up, you. Will. Die. What do you eat, like a piece of toast for breakfast? Maybe a piece of fruit for lunch? Nothing for dinner? I know you exercise way too much to begin with, but if you're not gonna feed yourself properly then maybe you ought to conserve your energy." Kaoru opened her mouth again, but Misao's eyes flashed.

"SHUT UP! I don't want to hear your excuses! I don't know why you think the way you do, Kaoru, but it's wrong! You and I are probably the same size now and I'm a foot shorter! Do you realize the severity of this situation? Do you realize what you're doing to yourself? Look at me!" It was a command and Kaoru obeyed. "I don't want to see you die, Kaoru! You're my best friend. What am I supposed to do without you?"

They were both crying, completely oblivious to the stares of the rest of the family. No one else wanted to speak for fear of interrupting and invoking Misao's wrath.

"It's not just about you, Kaoru. You're not just hurting yourself with this. Think about it. Think about what you're doing to the people who love you."

Her sea-green eyes became stony and she wiped her face.

"I'm done with this. I hope you understand what I just said to you, girl." Without another word, Misao grabbed her things and left, her immediate family following from a distance, saying quiet 'goodbye's and 'good luck's. The rest of the guests followed suit until finally Kaoru was alone with her parents, the cause of all this.

She whirled on them. "How could you?"

"How could we what? How could we want you to be healthy? To live?"

"How could you pull these people in here to make a fool out of me? There is NOTHING wrong with me!" Her tears started fresh and she dabbed at them with her sleeve. "Oh, fuck this," she said, and rushed past her mother to the stairs.

"Kaoru!" the older woman cried, but Koshijiro held up a hand.

"Let her go. She needs to be alone. Maybe she'll see the truth in Misao's words."

The two held hands and prayed.

* * *

Upstairs, Kaoru slammed her door and locked it before launching herself at her bed. She buried her face in her pillow and screamed louder than she'd ever screamed before. She'd never felt so betrayed.

"I eat. I eat all the time. This is such bullshit," she panted between sniffles. "I'm fine. There's nothing wrong with my head. It's not wrong to want to make yourself better." She looked up through her soaked eyelashes to see herself staring at her mirror. She screamed again and threw her pillow at it. The down-filled sack simply flopped to the floor.

Having been denied the destruction she wanted, Kaoru got up and searched her room for other objects to lob at the looking glass, reaching for small, heavy, throw-able things. Balls of paper from the wastebasket bounced off harmlessly, as did clothes from the hamper—the closest thing to her. She moved to her desk and chucked pens and pencils before finding something she knew would work. Her fingers closed around the snow globe her parents had given her for her thirteenth birthday.

It was her favorite; small and cute with a tiny swordsman inside. Instead of fake snow, it was full of glitter to simulate the flashes of a quick-moving sword. It was her most treasured possession.

But at that moment she hated her parents more than anything, and felt nothing as she threw the small sphere across the room.

It made direct contact, and the mirror instantly shattered, as did the glass of the globe. Water soaked the carpet and glitter mingled in the air with shards of glass and broken piece of the mirror. The effect was stunning, and Kaoru couldn't help but watch, speechless.

The sound was loud enough to alert her parents, but she didn't hear them coming upstairs to see what the problem was. There was no problem anymore. She couldn't see her reflection; she was fine.

Her breathing returned to normal after a moment and when her head cleared she wailed at the sight of the mess. She had trashed her room and broken the most important gift she'd ever received.

Kaoru inched her way over, picking her way through the glass, ignoring whatever got stuck in her foot. She bent down onto her knees and began to sift through the piece, looking for the tiny samurai. All she could find was glass.

She began to cry again. Her cuts stung when her salty tears fell into them, causing her to cry harder. She couldn't see what she was looking for—she couldn't even see the shards of glass anymore, just one huge blob through her tears.

She needed to make a decision. Her parents said she needed to heal, but she believed otherwise. So she had two choices; she could stay and allow her parents to send her to shrinks to get "checked out" or she could leave to lead her own life the way she thought right.

She sniffled and wiped her eyes with the backs of her hands, smearing blood across her cheekbones. Sitting back on her mutilated heels, she looked hopelessly around.

"I have to choose," she muttered, reaching out to push aside one particularly large piece of mirror, under which hid the tiny painted samurai. She lifted it to eye level, murmuring apologies to him and holding him in her outstretched palms.

_I have to choose…

* * *

_**A/N: So? What do you think so far? There was a lot going on in this chapter and yet very little movement in the plot, I know, but I needed to set the rest of the story up. Kenshin next chapter, please review. This is another serious project and I'd really appreciate feedback.**


	3. Chapter 2: Hypothermia

**Skinny**

_Chapter 2.

* * *

_

Kaoru checked her watch, confirming that it was past midnight. At this hour she knew her parents would both be in bed, well asleep; drugged up with their sleep-aid prescriptions. She could make as much noise as she wanted and they still wouldn't wake up—she knew from experience—and yet she didn't want to risk getting caught tonight. Sneaking out to hang with your friends was one thing, and this was another matter entirely.

Earlier that day she'd prepared herself well. She'd skipped dinner, still angry at her parents, and had taken that time to gather things she'd need to start her life on her own. She pulled her favorite denim messenger bag from the back of her closet and packed it with practical clothes that she would be able to wear in any weather, adding layers to accommodate to the current temperature. A few other necessities, like her newly-purchased bandages and diet pills, were also packed away neatly and quietly, and then the entire bag shoved under her bed where it would not be found.

She brought no food along.

Kaoru pulled a thin silver chain from beneath her sweater and gazed fondly at the snow globe samurai that hung from it. Unwilling to part with the small figurine, she had decided to take it along as her single piece of home, a token for her to wear like some wore a cross; with hope.

She kissed it and tucked it back into her clothing. She got her snow boots from out of her closet and grabbed her bag. Opening her door carefully she listened for any unusual noises that might indicate a change in her parents' schedules, but heard nothing. She breathed a small sigh of relief and began her creep downstairs.

Kaoru was very thankful that the wooden stairs did not creak, and she padded down them with grace, moving so quickly that she made herself dizzy. She held in a nervous giggle and moved forward, taking her coat from the hook beside the door.

About to leave the house, the young girl decided she might need a few other things, and sneaked into the kitchen to sift through the drawers there, looking for a candle and some matches, coming away with that as well as batteries and a flashlight; something that might come in handy while walking on this dark night. It wasn't a new moon, but clouds were making their way toward the small town, promising snow in the near future.

Kaoru stuffed her new effects into a side pocket if her bag and finished lacing her boots. She took the spare key from under the welcome mat and locked the door, replacing it and turning her back on the place she had called home for the duration of her life.

"_I hope I made the right choice_," Kaoru thought, gazing up to the dark sky and watching her breath float by in the light of the street lamps.

Sure, she'd been angry when she'd decided, but that didn't make her any less sure of what she was doing. She was tired of her parents trying to rule her life—choosing her schools and extracurricular activities (they'd even tried to choose her first boyfriend for her and set them up, which did _not_ go over well) and now they wanted to decide when and what she ate? Next they would be make a bathroom schedule and charting her life out down to the very second that she was supposed to fall asleep.

She ground her teeth. "_There is no way I'm wrong,_" she thought stubbornly. Her freedom was the only price she asked, and if that meant leaving behind the ones she loved while she searched for it, then so be it. She had always been independent anyway.

Kaoru was thankful for the gloves in her pocket as she slid her fingers into them. For some reason the cold was biting harder than normal that evening, almost as though the night did not approve of her actions. Soon she had to pull on a pair of mittens over those and a hat over her high ponytail, having heard that 80% of heat is lost through the head. Still, despite all her layers, she shivered and her vision blurred.

"_I can't be freezing to death already,_" she argued. "_I've only just left._" She was only a few blocks away from her home when her shiver fits had started, and though increasing her layers of clothing would stop them for a short while, they always came back.

"_Just think of warm places_." Hawaii and the Thousand islands came to mind and she allowed herself a small fantasy.

She had no inkling where she was going or how she'd get there. That part of the plan, she had hoped, would happen on a whim. She wasn't sure where she should go, where she could go without police dragging her home for being an un-emancipated minor. She'd just have to wander until she found the place that she belonged, and the only thing she knew was that it wasn't behind her. It had to be ahead.

She'd set out with an optimistic attitude and refused to let that die, sure that come daybreak, the cold would be gone and she would be warmed by the rays of the sun. But in the meantime she had to put as much distance between her ex-home and herself as possible.

An hour along, it began to snow. She cursed the sky loudly, looking up into the dark gray infinity and feeling colder for it. Kaoru tied her scarf more tightly, shoving the ends into the front of her coat which she zipped as far as she could, refusing to leave any part of her body uncovered. The hems of her mittens were pulled up over her coat sleeves and all three pairs of the pants she was wearing were bunched inside her boots, rubbing her ankles raw but keeping her toes from frostbite. She pulled her scarf up over her nose and pulled her hat down over her ears, but nothing could stop the stinging of the cold air in her eyes. She would just have to blink frequently.

She headed through the part of town that she knew, until she reached a small park around back of a school that she had never seen before. She believed it was an elementary school, and the playground only supported that theory. For the tiniest moment Kaoru wanted to get on the swings like she had as a child, and pretend she could fly. But now she shook her head, clearing it of such silly ideas and reminding herself that every moment she wasted not walking made it more likely that her parents could track her. Looking back behind her she saw that she was making footsteps, and for the first time she was glad for the snow that would fill them in by dawn.

Instead of the swings, Kaoru headed for the jungle gym, carefully climbing as high as she could manage to get a better look of her surroundings. From that high she could see the roofs of the houses closet to her, and that was about it. Turning around, she saw a forest off in the distance.

She sat for a moment and weighed her options. On the one hand there was the safety of the town, where, should she collapse from the cold, she was bound to be found by some kind soul and rescued. In the forest she probably wasn't going to have that. On the other hand, everyone would think that she would want to take the safe route. Doubtless her mother would think this a cry for attention, and believe Kaoru wanted to be found—the furthest thing from the truth.

That about settled the girl's mind for her, and she slid from her perch to grab her things, heading off in the direction of the tall, bare trees she'd seen.

She desperately wanted to believe that the shake in her knees was the cold, and the quaver in her vision was from the fog of her breath.

* * *

The terrain was uneven, and travelling made a great deal more difficult by the thick layer of snow that now lay along the forest floor. His feet often sank into a ditch that had been deceptively level with the rest of the ground, or he would trip over a fallen sapling hidden beneath the white blanket.

His grace and discipline with the sword made no difference in such weather as this, and for that reason alone Kenshin hated the snow.

"_Why am I even out here_?" He asked himself, carefully feeling with the toe of his boot for a good place to step. Under his right arm he held a bundle of twigs for kindling. "_Oh, yes. Well, now that that's done, I can go home, right_?" He agreed with himself and set off contentedly in the direction of his house. He was so far out into the forest that he couldn't see the light from his windows, but his sense of direction had always been good.

While he hated the disadvantage the snow put him in while walking, the man had nothing against the cold; in fact, he quite enjoyed chilly weather. However that night was a little too cold, the air biting his exposed skin harshly.

He sneezed a few times before quickening his pace, wanting a hot bath to prevent any oncoming cold.

"It's early," he mused aloud, his violet eyes flickering to the sky. On the eastern horizon he could faintly see the rising sun and the rosy pink coloring stretching upward. "Can't be later than six." He hadn't checked the clock on the way out, his mind set on getting wood for the fireplace to warm the house for coming day.

And while he gaze was fixed above him, he once again failed to see an obstacle in his way. His foot caught on something and he was sent sprawling face-first into the snow, dropping his firewood into the wet.

He quickly lifted his freezing face, spitting the cold from his mouth as he cursed under his breath. He pulled himself up and brushed the front of his clothes off, not wanting the snow to melt and soak through. "Oro…" he groaned at the sight of the mess. Sighing, he bent to gather his fallen bundle, looking back to see what he had tripped on.

He dropped the wood again.

"Oro!" He shouted, getting to his knees. He wiped the snow from the lump and his suspicions were confirmed: this was a person. A girl, to be precise. And she did not look well.

Biting the end of one finger of his gloves, he pulled the whole thing off and pressed his warm fingers to the girl's neck, searching for her carotid artery. He held his breath as he wanted for the pulse, nearly cheering when he found it—faint, but there.

"How long has she been here?" He wondered aloud, flicking more snow off her limp form. Beside her lay a small messenger bag that he thought might contain ID, but first, "I need to get her warm."

Kenshin's wood lay forgotten in the snow as his strong arms scooped the small being into his arms and pressed her against his chest, her bag thrown over his own shoulder as he lifted her bridal-style. All clumsiness abandoned, Kenshin ran back toward his home, long red hair blowing back with the wind as he wove between the trees with skill.

Having no hands free, the man simply kicked his door open—without breaking it—and kicked it shut behind him. He called throughout the house to his friend (who was usually at Kenshin's place and not his own) and received no answer. He gritted his teeth, cursing again.

"He picks _today_ of all days to go home," he muttered as he sped off toward his bedroom. Placing the small girl on his bed, he fired up the radiator and hurried down the hall to the bathroom to start a bath. Having no idea how long she had been outside, he didn't know if she'd fallen victim to hypothermia yet, but judging by the thick snow that covered her and the almost nonexistent pulse, he estimated that she had been unconscious for at least an hour or two; long enough to die. She was a lucky girl.

Kenshin didn't turn the hot water tap up very far, leaving the temperature at lukewarm so as not to shock the girl when her freezing body dropped into hot water. He remembered vaguely what his doctor friend had told him about hypothermia before, and kept it a little cooler than a normal bath.

Returning to his room while the tub filled, he saw that the girl had not moved. The radiator warmed the entire room and he stripped off his outerwear before heading to her frail, cold body to do the same. Coat, boots, scarf and mittens fell to his floor with a wet "squelch" and yet still there was more. She wore two pairs of jeans, two sweaters, and various t-shirts before he reached her undergarments. He ripped her hat off but left her undermost layers; though he was trying to save her, he wanted to preserve her modesty if he could. She was left in a loose t-shirt and baggy sweats

He lifted her again to his chest, nearly jumping when her icy skin pressed to his, but never hesitating as he flew to the bathroom with her, lowering her slowly into the water, and noting with displeasure that steam rose from her contact with the water. "Please wake up, Miss," he urged, nudging her shoulders a bit. She didn't move.

He cupped his hands and poured water on her face and neck, massaging her hands to get the blood flowing. As time went on he felt an increase in her temperature and gradually added warmer water to keep it rising.

He could see her chest rise and fall, could feel her breath on his hand, knew she was not dead, but close. His hands worked ever faster, using friction and the heat of the water and his body to coax her body to respond.

After a short time, he began to see the results of his emergency treatment. A small amount of color was returning to the girl's cheeks, and her skin was no longer deathly cold, though she still felt cold to the touch. Kenshin warmed the water again before moving his ever-sure touch to her arms and legs, not stopping to think of where his hands were.

He worked for what seemed like hours until he managed to draw a sound from the young girl's throat. It was little more than a whimper and a cough, but it was enough for him to be certain she would make it. The man sat back, exhausted, for a moment before getting up to resume working.

He let her arms drape over the side of the tub so she wouldn't drown and added more warm water before leaving the room to make up his bed for his "houseguest". The snow caked onto her clothes had soaked well through his duvet and sheets, almost to the mattress itself, and he removed all bedclothes and dragged them to the laundry room.

He quickly made up a bed for her and tossed her things into the dryer before returning to check on her and increase the temperature of the water again, this time removing the too-big shirt and sweatpants so the heat would sink in. Not even for a second did his eyes travel the length of her body; he was determined not to allow his mind to stray to such places.

Back in his room he turned the radiator up until the room made him sweat. Deciding to let her sit in the water for a few minutes more, Kenshin took a moment to relax, falling face down on his bedcovers. His foot slid against something on the floor, and he was almost too tired to care what it was, but heaved a great sigh and pulled himself up to see.

It was her bag, he realized with interest, violet eyes widening with surprised. He'd forgotten he'd brought it along at all.

"_This could have some clue to her identity,_" he thought, and began to rifle through her things. He only came out disappointed when he found nothing besides clothes, bandages, and a small, unlabeled bottle of pills. His eyes narrowed at the sight of the white plastic, and he popped the top off to smell the contents. Most pills were odorless, but some held a subtle scent that could aid in their identification. Kenshin, however, smelled nothing.

Still he took the pills, refusing to let her have them until she woke and explained what they were for. If they were illegal or harmful substances, then they might have been the cause of her collapse.

The short man pulled an extra shirt and pair of old pajama bottoms out of his dresser drawer and took them with him when he went back to the bathroom. He drained the tub, content to feel a regular body temperature in the girl's skin. A towel was tossed over her body and wrapped tightly before he removed her soaked undergarments beneath it, pulling his spare clothes onto her. He used a dry corner of the towel to wipe her face, noticing her lips were no longer blue, but still pale. He lifted her again and laid her to rest in his bed, closing the door behind him.

He managed to make it to the kitchen table before collapsing into a chair, fatigue having completely wiped him out. He thought to get a spare blanket and pillow and catnap on the couch, but his mind was racing.

"_Who is she_?" He breathed a confused sigh and got up to make himself a pot of coffee—he'd only woken a few hours ago and would not let himself sleep.

"_Who is she and why was she out in the forest all alone? What made her collapse? Where is her family?"_

But there was one question that repeatedly assaulted his mind. He could no longer ignore it and act on impulse. He had to think.

_"What do I do now?"_ Sighing, Kenshin picked up his phone from the cradle on the kitchen counter and hit speed dial. He tapped his fingers impatiently along the granite countertop until, after two rings; his friend picked up on the other end.

"Hello?" A sleepy, deep voice answered.

"Sano."

"Kenshin? What's up?"

"Do you know where Megumi is?"

"She's out of town on business. Why is something wrong?" Kenshin ignored the last question.

"Do you know when she'll be back?"

"She should be here tomorrow morning or afternoon, depending on the weather. What's going on?"

"Sano I think you should come over."

"I'll be there in fifteen." Sano hung up the phone without saying goodbye and, true to his word, fourteen minutes later he was using the spare key to get into Kenshin's house, calling his name loudly through the hallway, trying to find him. The short redhead poked his head out of the kitchen and shot his friend a silencing look.

"What's goin' on, Kenshin, why do you need the doctor-lady over? You're not hurt are you?" His brown eyes looked the smaller man up and down, searching for any injuries, though finding none. "You look fine."

"It's not about me, Sano," Kenshin rubbed his forehead, feeling a migraine. "Do you know what to do for hypothermia?"

"What?"

Kenshin pointed one hand toward his bedroom without a word and the brunette followed his finger and caught his meaning. He walked toward the door, unsure of what he would find.

Sano's fingers rested lightly on the doorknob before he pulled back; it was _hot_. He wrapped his sleeve around his hand and quickly opened the door, allowing it to swing open and the boiling air to hit him in the face, making it difficult to breathe. He coughed out a few curses before running to the radiator and turning it down. Kenshin waited in the doorway, watching with confused and upset eyes as the other man opened a window.

"It's way too freaking hot in here! What the hell is going on, Kenshin? You're acting crazy!" He brought his head inside the window—he'd stuck it out to breathe—and glared at the older man, who was walking toward his bed.

"I don't know what to do. I've already brought her temperature up considerably—" Sano was about to interrupt, thinking that Kenshin was hallucinating and that there was no "her", but swallowed his words when the bedcovers were pulled back roughly, exposing a small, slight girl dwarfed in a man's clothing. Her skin was pale and covered in sweat, though she shivered at the touch of air. "I don't know what else to do. I need Megumi. Can we call her?"

Sano was already reaching into his pocket for his cell, and dialing his girlfriend's number. One hand reached over to the unconscious girl to feel for a pulse at her wrist. It was going too fast to be safe.

"Megumi warned me never to call her unless it was an emergency, Kenshin," he said as he waited for someone to answer the phone. His eyes never left the girl. "But I think this qualifies."

_

* * *

_**A/N: This was significantly shorter and it moved faster, and I blame my slight case of writer's block. But this is one of the few stories I've actually planned out a good couple of chapters ahead. Please stick with me. This is a story I'm actually proud to have thought of, and proud to have started. I hope to be proud to have finished it one day and it would be more than I deserve if you would see me through to that day.  
**


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